If you don’t laugh…

On the 22nd January 2021, I was a busy mum of 2 locked-down kids and a working from home husband! Friday evening, as I got into my pj’s, I reached my right arm above my head and felt an uncomfortable pain. I put my left hand up to my breast and found a huge lump jutting out of my breast and into my arm pit. Instantly I thought of my sister. She had had 2 cancer diagnosis in the past. “No. It can’t be, that wouldn’t fair. It’s a cyst.” And this, I managed to convince myself, was all it was. I didn’t give it another thought that weekend as I watched family movies, made dinner, washed school kit and ironed my mount Versuvius equivalent. Not even as I felt the lump bump my arm as I brushed my 6yo daughter's hair, wet from her mermaid bath. Or as the pain shot across my boob, it’s cyst. It is a cyst……

Monday morning, I hesitated to call the Dr. Stoopid COVID, I shouldn’t take up the Dr’s time with a cyst! My husband Steve, said “I think you should just go double check it’s a cyst.” And with this sage advice I called my Dr. She asked if I could pop into the surgery straight away. Hmm well I was going to B&Q, but I guess I could go after.

My Dr, a kind young lady, asked me to hop on the bed. She did a quick exam and said it a surprised voice, “ohh it’s big isn’t it, and quite mobile! I think you had better go to the One Stop Breast Clinic at Whipps.” I felt a little uneasy now. Why wasn’t she saying “yes that’s just a cyst!”? I had to wait the full, 2 week government guideline wait for my appt. I had managed, on the whole, to put it to the back of my mind. Why worry? What’s that gonna do. The lump stayed. I was amazed at the sudden appearance and it’s stubbornness not to fuck off tbh. Most cyst’s only last a few days, why was this still there nagging away at me?